Category Archives: Movies

X-Men: Days of Future Past Review

From the studio that brought you the Alvin and the Chipmunks trilogy comes a movie that is a sequel to the X-Men trilogy and to X-Men: First Class, but is also kind of a reboot for the X-Men film franchise. Don’t worry if this confuses you because the goal here is to erase the two horrible Wolverine movies from existence. X-Men: Days of Future Past is based on one of the best comic book storylines in the franchise and this film reaches the heights of its source material and then some. This is a movie you need to sink your claws into.

X-men-origins-wolverine-weapon-xi-deadpool-endingYeah, let’s pretend this never happened.

In the year 2023, mutants are in a war and on the brink of extinction due to sentient robots called Sentinels that can adapt to any mutant’s abilities, and are programmed to kill them due to being a threat to the human race and the Matrix. Professor X (Patrick Starwart), Magneto (Sir Ian McKellen) Wolverine (Huge and Jacked) and the rest of the mutant rascals find Juno (Ellen Page) and her group of mutants because she has the power to send someone’s consciousness back in time to their younger bodies. They convince her to send Wolverine’s consciousness back to his younger self in 1973, so he can convince the younger versions of themselves to prevent an event which will lead to the creation of the Sentinels and the war.

ellen-page-ellen-book-ellen-libary-what-next_o_2982295Because an Ellen Library is the army the mutants need to defend themselves.

In 1973, it’s been ten years since the events of X-Men: First Class. Mystique (Jennifer “I am the Law” rence) is now working on her own to find captured mutants and Peeta. Lawrence embodies her character’s independence and confidence in every scene she’s in while still handling her emotional moments. A young Professor X (James McAvoy) is struggling with his inner turmoil, but he is going crazy and getting desperate without being able to post passive-aggressive Facebook statuses about his feelings; you can only hope that his powers will still give the mutants a leg up on their threats. Young Magneto (Michael Buttflexer) is as extreme as he has always been, and ready to do what it takes to save his mutant race. Peter Dinklage also does well in his small, but crucial role in the fate of the mutant race. Each actor has their chance to shine, and they live up to their moments with ease. You’ll feel invested in all of their situations due to how natural and real the actors have made the characters feel.

movies-x-men-days-of-future-past-bolivar-trask1970s Lannister sends his groovy regards.

From the Sentinel-ravaged, dark future to the high-stakes set-pieces involving planes, trains, automobiles, Paris, Vietnam, Washington, and stadiums in 1973, the visual effects and choreography are marvelous from beginning to end; they are used to contribute to the story or finally bring to life the X-Men and powers seen in this movie like never before.  Action scenes are well-distributed throughout the movie to let you breathe and enthrall you after a build-up of dramatic tension.  There’s a particular sequence with Quicksilver (Evan Peters) in the Pentagon that’ll mesmerize you, make you laugh, and fill you with joy as you think, “DID HE JUST DO THAT?!?”

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X-Men’s Quicksilver on the left is running away with the best Quicksilver trophy while Avengers’ Quicksilver is still looking for his wife in Godzilla.

X-Men: Days of Future Past is the best superhero movie since The Dark Knight. The compelling storylines humanize these mutants and we can even catch a glimpse of ourselves in their struggles. The beautiful Mystique has an inner conflict about being accepted as a hot, naked blue woman and getting revenge for her fallen mutants. Professor X struggles with growing a figurative, strong spine even if it means sacrificing something dear to him. As you are watching this film, you will be so drawn in by the actors’ performances that you will think Magneto is literally pulling you through the screen.The film has powerful action sequences that will make you grip your popcorn and soda so hard that they’ll scatter over your fellow moviegoer like ash and lava on Pompeii, but they won’t care because they can’t keep their eyes off the screen; it could be their favorite character’s last moments. Even some secondary characters have their chance to steal the X-Men’s and Storm’s thunder in a few scenes. There may be some cheesy lines and corny references here and there, but it’s only enough to add some humor to a movie with an overall dark tone due to what hangs in the balance.

The only true flaw that someone might bring up is that there isn’t a “true villain” in this film. However, this movie is about how we are our own villain. We often place burdens on our shoulders and obstacles in our paths because of our internal conflicts. Whether it’s the fear of failure, the unknown, being abandoned, or oppression; lack of self-acceptance or something else, our inner conflicts eventually weaken us to the point that we may even become hopeless and stop fighting. It is only when we give ourselves a chance to face our own demons instead of running away from them that we may overcome any challenge and reshape our present. As an older Professor X says to a younger Professor X in the trailer, “We need you to hope again.”

This movie is wonderful, entertaining and fearless, and, most importantly, it’s an inspiration.

It’s a future classic.

This movie gets my highest recommendation of Get to the Theater.

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The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Review

From the studio headquartered in a city that has been destroyed 28 times by Godzilla comes a sequel to the Spider-Man reboot (A movie that Sony had to make so the evil Disney empire wouldn’t have a chance at the Spider-Man movie rights).

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Almost time for the 29th, mis amigos.

Peter Parker/Spider-Man (Mark Zuckerburg’s ex-best friend) has been enjoying the rest of his high school career, and stopping crime in New York City since he defeated Dr. Curt Connors/Lizard.  He has also been in a relationship with Gwen Stacy (Girl that loves Help) for a while now. Peter promised Gwen’s dad while he died that he would stay away from her in order to keep her safe, but no man in their right mind would stay away from a girl that looks like Emma Stone with natural blonde hair.

Don't make promises you can't keep Mr. Parker

The only time this dumb life advice gets a pass is when you have a shot with her.

Director Marc Webb—he was destined to make a Spider-Man movie with a name like that– introduces so many villains and plotlines that it was a challenge for the film to pay enough attention to everything. The movie juggles Max Dillon/Electro (Django), a socially awkward engineer for Oscorps Industries, who gets a man crush on Spider-Man after he is randomly saved by him. He later becomes a villain because he’s offended that Spider-Man can’t remember his name amongst the thousands of people that he has helped; it is definitely the best justification for becoming a villain that anyone could have. Rhino (Paul Giamatti) also puts his horn in a few action scenes throughout the movie, and then there is Oscorps Industries itself which creates problems for Spidey indirectly.

At least there is one villain knows how to maximize his electrical powers.

The star villain, who isn’t even the main villain, of the movie is Harry Osborn/Green Goblin (Dane DeHaan). The character is intelligent, smart, the right touch of evil, and DeHaan simply steals every scene he is in. He is Peter Parker’s BFF4eva from childhood, but daddy issues intervened and he was sent to boarding school before he hit puberty. Harry has finally returned after almost a decade to take control of his company, so he finds time to add Peter on Facebook and catch up. He also needs Spider-Man’s blood for personal reasons. Even before he fully becomes the Green Goblin, DeHaan perfectly conveys despair, anger, creepiness, sarcasm, and wit in Harry. He’s more electrifying than Electro himself. DeHaan is already somewhat famous for his great performances in low budget movies, but this summer blockbuster will surely put him on the mainstream map.

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 Far and away the apex actor in this movie.

The visuals and action scenes in this movie are mesmerizing when they balance practical effects and CGI. You’ll feel as if you’re Spider-Man’s old buddy, old pal when he’s slinging across New York because of the fluid movement and camerawork. The one scene that stands out above the rest is the Times Square scene between Electro and Spider-Man. Sony and Marvel didn’t drop the ball on this scene as the rising tension, the innocent New York bystanders that wished they had gone to Jersey for once, choreography, and slow-motion camerawork may make you shoot your web too soon due to how outstanding it is. However, when the movie uses too much CGI, it still isn’t advanced enough to look fully immerse you; it feels as if you’re watching a kid play a video game. The computer effects are also used in scenes where you know they could’ve spent some extra time building sets.

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He’s got the moves like Spider.

The other great part of this movie is the sizzling chemistry between Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy. Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone became a couple while about the time they made the first film and the chemistry is palpable. Their ongoing real-life relationship spreads like a spider’s web into their characters’ scenes together. The romantic dialogue was as cheesy as a plate of nachos at times, but they usually pulled it off. Peter and Gwen’s interactions were so charged that you could feel the audience’s spider-sense tingling in all directions.

This video speaks for itself.

It’s too bad that very time the movie did something well, it would shock itself in the foot. The movie was good and even great at times, and sometimes it was even bad; it was never consistent. There was enough content in the story to make this movie as long as Titanic. This lack of focus and the rushed plotlines turned a heartfelt ending into a commercial for the next movie. I was ready to name this as the superhero movie to beat this summer until the last few minutes.

TL;DR: A movie that has some gripping acting and dialogue from a few of its stars, special effects that sometimes felt real and spectacular, but also stumbles from trying to do too much. It could’ve been truly amazing, but it got tangled up in its own web and never consistently reached those New York-skyscraper heights.

I give The Amazing Spider-Man 2 a review score of Almost Left Its Mark.

Leonardo Oscar

 

 

Noah Review

Darren Aronofsky has brought you movies about moral downfalls (Requiem For A Dream), a love story about water (The Fountain), and lesbian swans. Now he’s decided to give you a beautifully-directed film about a downfall of water on a morally bankrupt Earth where only straight swans will be saved.

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This movie is about a fountain, right?

Russell Crowe stars as Noah in Hollywood’s non-fictional film based on the story of Noah’s Ark.  As a young boy, Noah is about to grab his father’s snake when Tubal-Cain (Ray Winstone) and his men appear. Noah hides as his father sacrifices himself to save him. This experience traumatizes Noah, so he avoids society at all costs for the rest of his life.

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He found time to steal John Nash’s wife though.

Now a husband and father with three sons and an adopted mudblood named Ila, Noah goes all A Beautiful Mind. He starts having visions that warn of a future disaster. Noah decides to ask his grandfather Methuselah (Non-Cannibal Anthony Hopkins) for advice, so he is given a Mexican jumping bean. He spreads the seed on a plain, and a forest that would make Dunder Mifflin jealous appears. With the help of fallen angels (Optimus Prime and the Autobots), Noah uses the forest to build the Ark over a decade.

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He is the only reason I am. He is all my reasons.

Close to finishing the Ark, Noah now has to deal with the fact that there is only one woman for his three sons. Emma Watson plays adult, infertile Ila who is in love with Noah’s eldest son, Shem. This makes Ham (Logan Lerman), Noah’s second oldest son, very jealous and bitter whenever he’s a Peeping Tom. Ham asks his father to stop cockblocking him and find him a wife before the disaster.

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You already had her once. Give someone else a chance. Someone like me.

Throughout the rest of the movie, Noah’s goals are: finish building the Ark, find wives for his children, deal with his wife’s nagging about his lack of compassion, fight people who are trying to steal the Ark, collect two of each species, survive a flood, restart human civilization, and file TPS reports. This movie is flooded with plotlines! The Creator is the type of boss that fires people in their company, and then expects you to do other people’s jobs for the same salary. Didn’t he consider outsourcing at least?

Aronofsky obviously had to take a lot of creative liberties to turn this story into an epic film, and he made his vision a reality. The acting is decent, but it has some moments of greatness in intense scenes. There are decisions that will have you asking yourself if you would do the same as the characters. Would you share like you were taught to do in Kindergarten?

This is essentially the Creator’s reaction to humans.

Whether or not you believe this story, you’ll be entertained for over two hours with gorgeous landscape shots, time lapses, and Hermione’s magic. You’ll see a striking rendition of the First Seven Days. You’ll wonder if PETA is okay with the Ark’s conditions. And you’ll enjoy the battles for survival and control of the Ark. It might not be a must-see film, but you won’t regret watching it.

I give Noah a score of Are You Not Entertained?!?

Captain America: The Winter Soldier Review

From the brother directors (Anthony and Joe Russo) that are still brothers comes a movie that will almost make you forget that they directed You, Me, and Dupree.

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                                      The Wachowski Brothers…err…siblings.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier is the big-budget, lowly-anticipated sequel to Captain America: The First Avenger; it was a decent, but forgettable movie that even made Mr. Smith dull. However, this fun sequel will leave you hungry for a longer winter. But it still won’t make you care more about the Human Torch—I mean Captain America.

Image                                         No wonder he wants to quit acting.

Post-Avengers Captain America (Chris Evans) has been going on SHIELD missions and saving hundreds of lives for a few years. He can jump hundreds of feet onto surfaces without hurting his Abercrombie face, and run two blocks without getting cramps. No matter his strengths, he still feels out of place. He even keeps a pop culture notebook with him at all times to write down all the important inventions, discoveries and art that mankind has contributed to the world while he was hibernating in the Arctic for nearly 70 years. Where would we be without Snapchat, Justin Bieber, and Angry birds after all? Every value and liberty that he fought for during World War II has been surrendered by the people he swore to protect. Governments can now spy on your social networking accounts, phone calls, and emails with permission. This is why it’s important to read Terms of Service Agreements before clicking on “I Accept”.

rs_1024x759-130830150850-1024..miley-cyrus-twerk-vma.ls.83013_copy                                                             Our gift to the world

Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) and Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) also have larger roles this time around. Fury is about to launch a program that will bring security to the entire world. SHIELD has developed three helicarriers ready to fire their weapons at anyone who is believed to be a threat when they post the wrong status on Facebook. Things go wrong when SHIELD members attack Fury below the belt and there is no one he can trust except one man. Captain ‘Merica’s mission: protect a flash drive, expose the traitor, and stop him before he sells it to TMZ.

Nick Fury

                                     I did not have sexual relations with that woman.

Captain America teams up with Sexy Spider-Woman, and newcomer Sam Wilson (Affordable Will Smith) to save SHIELD from an unknown threat while having to fight a villain called the Winter Soldier whose terrifying presence can best be described as a skinnier, shorter Terminator that got fashion advice from Sub-Zero and Scorpion. The Winter Soldier is magnetic every time he’s on the screen. He can match Captain America in combat and he makes a fantastic Ultimate Frisbee buddy. Get ready for a bunch of douchebags dressing up as this guy for Halloween this year.

Anthony and Joe Russo are renowned for their work in comedies, but they successfully made the transition to action in this movie. Car chases? Vin Diesel would be proud. Foot chases that put Tom Cruise’s running to shame? I’m out of breath just thinking about it. Explosions? Boom goes the dynamite! Fight scenes that won’t make you vomit extra butter in your popcorn? Heck yes! You’ll love the action so much that you’ll forget to check your Facebook and Whatsapp messages. Every character gets a chance to show you that your gym membership is a waste of time with stuntwork that is better than most Marvel movies.

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The movie will even have you thinking about our governments’ reach in our post 9/11-world. You’ll consider turning your technology off more often, and ask yourself if you should continue talking to your BFF Siri. You’ll wonder if the people who stare at you on the street are villains, or if you have nacho cheese on your nose. Yes, these themes have been discussed in other movies, TV series, and books, but it’s rare to have an action movie entertain you and make you question anything. Is it worth sacrificing certain liberties if it means you’ll be safe and sound? This might be the only America that even international audiences will like.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who watches the watchmen?

I give Captain America: The Winter Soldier my highest review score of Get To The Theater.